I cancelled Disney+. It was about fourteen dollars a month, which comes to roughly one hundred and sixty-eight dollars a year. That money is now available to this household. I want to be clear that I am not keeping any of it. I am spending it on things the whole family will use. I have taken this position without being asked, which I think says something about me.
Here is what the house could have instead.
about six thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.4.
The yard has always been right there. What it has never had is warm water in it. I am proposing that we fix the yard.
about forty thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.4.
One person is the whole family if we take turns. I would go last.
about twelve thousand dollars. Shark rating 0.5.
It goes in the pond. The pond is currently empty of pirates, which I have been raising as a safety concern for years.
about nine hundred dollars. Shark rating 0.6.
Not for me. For the doorway. So the kids know what is out there.
about seventy dollars. Shark rating 0.7.
Halloween, birthdays, ordinary Tuesdays. Fog is a mood and moods cost extra.
about one hundred and twenty dollars. Shark rating 0.9.
Shaved ice is mostly water. So this is hydration, presented in a fun shape.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.1.
One cart and movie nights are solved forever. We would never need a streaming service again, which is symmetric with a decision I have already made.
Donna said a cart with wheels is not a kitchen appliance. I told her it is a kitchen appliance that can leave.
about two hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.2.
Family togetherness, projected at volume.
about four hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.3.
It is exercise and a nap in one device. I do not know another product that does both.
about three thousand dollars. Shark rating 1.4.
For the bulk chicken. Also for me, on hot days. That is two uses.
about two thousand five hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.5.
Kids today do not know how to wait in line for a turn. I can teach that at home, where it is safer.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.6.
Four pairs. One for each kid. The dark is a resource and we are not using it.
about four hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.7.
Find the dog. Find the kids. Find the drone after I lose the drone, which is what the spotlight is for.
about two thousand dollars. Shark rating 1.8.
Geometry. Angles. The table is a math class with felt on it.
about six hundred dollars. Shark rating 1.9.
Pizza is a food group in this house. I am simply moving production in-house, which is what a serious person does.
about three hundred and fifty dollars. Shark rating 2.0.
The kids should know the sky exists. It is free and they are ignoring it.
about five hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.1.
Bouncing is the cheapest form of cardio. I say that as a shark who does not do cardio.
about one thousand two hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.2.
Everything the hot tub promised, but colder and cheaper. This is me compromising.
about six hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.3.
Outdoor movies. Which is what we were already doing inside, except this version comes with the sky. The sky is included in the price.
about two hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.4.
We sit. We look at it. Nobody says anything for an hour. This is what families do and I have read about it.
about one hundred and eighty dollars. Shark rating 2.5.
So the fire pit can have a backup plan.
about seven hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.6.
The first one is full. I do not know of what. That is not the point I am making.
about five hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.7.
I cook outside, so the kitchen stays clean, so Donna is happy. This purchase is really for Donna.
about eight hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.8.
Two kids, one column of space. Vertical thinking.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 2.9.
All of us, together, on the road. I would need a wide one. They make those.
about one hundred and fifty dollars for a shelf of them. Shark rating 3.0.
Renting a family argument is expensive. Buying the argument once, at a fixed price, is better math.
about one hundred and forty dollars. Shark rating 3.1.
We have books in a pile. That pile is a shelf that has given up.
about sixty dollars. Shark rating 3.2.
Puzzles, cards, folding laundry. One surface, three jobs.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 3.3.
Free television. The birds come to us. I never have to log in.
about forty-five dollars. Shark rating 3.4.
The yard becomes a room. Rooms are expensive. Lights are not.
about two hundred and fifty dollars. Shark rating 3.5.
Family breathing. I am told this is important.
about sixty dollars. Shark rating 3.6.
Dry air makes the kids cough. When the kids cough, Donna looks at me. I would rather buy the machine.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 3.7.
It cleans and nobody argues about whose turn it is. This is the only machine in the house that ends a fight.
about three hundred and fifty dollars. Shark rating 3.8.
Baking from scratch is cheaper than buying baked goods. Eventually. That is the argument, and I am standing on it.
about eighty dollars. Shark rating 3.9.
Dinner is already made when we walk in. That is not a gadget. That is a plan.
Donna said, just buy the damn thing. I am putting that down as approval.
about three hundred dollars. Shark rating 4.0.
Bread, stew, and in a difficult situation, home defense. The streaming service could not do any of those.
about one hundred and twenty dollars. Shark rating 4.1.
A loaf costs about four dollars at the store. This also makes the house smell good, and the smell comes free with the purchase.
about fifty dollars. Shark rating 4.2.
Sunday. Waffles. Kids remember Sundays.
about twenty-five dollars. Shark rating 4.3.
Recipes stop being guesses. It is small and hard to argue with.
about forty dollars. Shark rating 4.4.
Four of them, one per person. The floor is not a basket and it never was.
about sixty dollars. Shark rating 4.5.
Every bottle replaces a thing we keep buying. I am saving money now. This is how saving money works.
about seventy dollars. Shark rating 4.6.
Packing lunch instead of buying lunch. The math is on my side for once and I intend to enjoy it.
about thirty dollars. Shark rating 4.7.
The whole house. Every size. Nobody in this family has matching socks and it has gone on long enough.
about fifteen dollars. Shark rating 4.9.
Someone has to clean up after all of this. I am being realistic about how the list ends.
Donna read the whole thing twice and then set it down. She said we could talk about the socks. I am calling that a win.